Archive for April, 2008


As far back as I can remember, I have always loved being outside. As a kid, my family and I would go camping 2-3 times a year, and then middle school happened, and we stopped camping together yearly, and the event dwindled down to once in my entire high school years. I think my love for being outside is why I love running so much. It is just me and nature existing in the momentary lapse in time. I have just finished reading another book about a persons journey. In the past two weeks, I have read The Motorcycle Diaries, by Che Guevara; Into The Wild, by Jon Krakauer; Journey to Ixtlan: The Lessons of Don Juan, by Carlos Castaneda, Ishmael, by Daniel Quinn,and I have started to reread The Walden, by Henry David Thoreau. I also want to read War and Peace by Tolstoy, but that will come. The common thread in all of these books, if you haven’t been able to guess it, is that each of them are true stories, and the main character went out and just lived ‘off; of the land, and each realized how to live more adequately than what they have previously thought. They each lived a more full life, and found what they were searching for, however, they may not have known they were seaching for it. This leads me to want to have a similar experience and wish to live more fully and have a peace in life about me, that only nature can give.

I also know that I am not yet ready to make such a drastic life change, if I will ever be ready to. But I think bringing back camping every year would be a great start, thus I have started to plan a camping trip with anyone who wants to go camping.

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Different Scene, Same Result

This past weekend was not the ordinary weekend, where I cook/clean/watch movies until I pass out. Instead, I ran and biked myself into exhaustion and then went out to a couple of house parties. But to no avail, the same results ensued where at the end of the night, I cuddled with my baby blanket wishing it was someone very particular to me and I feel that I am to her as well, but due to certain circumstances we cannot, or better put, are not together. I have also realized that I am very strange, and almost a paradox in the flesh. I say this because I just realized that I have never been able to ride a bicycle without using my hands, yet ironically enough, in my younger years, I rode a unicycle. I cannot explain how the mechanics work, or maybe it’s just a psychological issue blocking me from being able to ride a bike without any hands.

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Tentatively planning…

With the impending leave of absence from the “good ol’ U. S. of A.” for a substantial period of time, 27 months at least, I find myself adrift in the abyss of the future. After my tirades in the Peace Corps and arriving safely back here on my feet, assuming that everything goes to plan and nothing at all goes wrong, I find myself already planning those events, and my eventual career, if I am destined to have one at all. I have been thinking about the Green Corps, or even grad school, but I feel that I would like to be more involved in the world around me and make a viable difference to those I know, have known, and will come to know in the future. And for that¬† reason, I have been doing research into the WHO, and what would be necessary to become a ‘deployed worker’ for the WHO. For those who don’t know what the WHO is, you can go here:

Another alternative would be to try for a prestigeous internship at the World Bank, or even the UNDP, and help create the HDI, or the HDR. And finally the last idea that I have had regarding my plausible future would be to become a teacher, hopefully on of the likes of Ron Clark, Mr. Ross, or even the imaginary ones of Mr. Keats, or Mr. Holland. Enough of the planning…

The future blinds the masses of the all elusive love they seek, for the love only exists in the present. Never in the past, for it was there, but has long since moved on, and never in the future, for you are not in the future.

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A quotable passage…

This passage comes from “The notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge” by Rilke. The following passage struck an accord with me on at least two fronts, one being the obvious of music/musicians, and second one that inspires all people to greatness. The passage is: “

But, Master, if some pure spirit with a virgin ear were to lie down beside your music: he would die of bliss, or he would become pregnant with infinity, and his fertilized brain would explode with so much birth.”

I really like this passage because it inspires me to do great things with my works, either paintings, music, poems, and sculptures. To do something so great that you become pregnant with infinity, is to do something of such a magnanimous splendor you not only elevate everyone else’s perception and wisdom, but you also elevate your own perception and wisdom. In essence, when you have crafted such a piece like that, then you are becoming one with infinity, and to do that is to reach satori, see god, gain enlightenment, and all the other heightened spiritual awarenesses.

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A new quote.

I have often been quoted by my friends and acquaintances by saying, “In a world in which the currency is knowledge, I am a bum on the side of the street asking for handouts.” If such a place were to exist then I would imagine that everyone would be in the same boat, for knowledge wouldn’t be based on degrees attained, but on what you know and what you do not know. For example, a farmer who can read the stars and know what the weather is going to be like from looking towards the ‘heavens’ would be of as much, if not of more worth, than a business person. Likewise, some of the smartest people I have ever met, have lived on the streets, and were doing that by choice. It really is amazing what people can learn just by opening themselves up to everyone. This, in my opinion, would be a more participatory government that does not disenfranchise segments of the population based upon their origins, race, creed, or even their own paradigms.

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The Universal

My eternal being

locked beneath the dust

soars above the eagles

while positing itself among the celestial bodies.

Residing in a concept

There are no boundaries

Beyond these realms existence fails

The world I live in is now created.

Tempting objects to comform

I cease to exist

While my body will not rest

My eternal being now resist.

Forms all fade to nothing

My world is now gone

To my chagrin, I was one

The only to exist in it.

This I charge to everyone

Love or hate, we must all create

It’s all that’s needed to make

The world into your eternal being.

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when today turns into tomorrow

During the twilight of the days gone by; we, the human race, forget to acknowledge its existence. This thought alone comes to me when I run through the woods and today was no different. What does this statement mean? I do not know, what I do know is that it keeps running on a reel in my head, repeating itself again and again. The first question that comes to mind is what is it. It could be anything, literally anything, and I think that for each person it represents something completely unique to that person. It can even change as time goes by, so what would be the constant in this phrase? I don’t know, but I never said that I did know, if any of you can thing of what the constant is, or what this phrase means, then by all means, let me know. That is all for now.

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New things, Old things

So, its been awhile since I last wrote¬† on here. Some things have changed, others have remained the same. For example, I have changed my ‘self-destructive’ agenda, and have turned it into a rather different agenda of getting into the best shape of my life. Two days ago, I went for a 12.5 mile run, nice and easy, and then did 7.5 miles on a bike; and yesterday, I ran 5.24 miles through the trails and biked 14.8 miles to a state park. I have also been doing some ab workouts. Then, when I am not working out, I have started reading Swan’s Way by Marcel Proust to occupy my mind, so that I wouldn’t be thinking of her. Nights are still troublesome because thats when memories come flooding in and unfortunately I have a very detailed and accurate memory. For example, last night before I fell asleep, I had a ‘vision’ of the last day we spent together. I remembered exactly what she was wearing, what her perfume smelled like, what her hair smelled like, the conversation we had, the sound of her voice, and the feel of her skin touching mine. So as much as I may do to change things and occupy my mind, I fear that my memories will always be as vivid as they are now

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