Sedefche

Through my reading/studying, I have surmised a ‘new’ reason to follow a religion, and that is to attain a higher consciousness. To achieve this, I believe that one should be able to practice/perform many religious acts from differing religions. For example, I practice yoga to gain clarity in my day to day breathing, I meditate almost every night, and during the day I run to gain a sense of Satori which is an elevated state of the mind where one doesn’t feel pain, and has a heightened sense of one-ness with their surroundings. I also attend mass once or twice a week to ‘purify’ myself. Now the question becomes, should a person be able to pick and choose parts of a specific religion and mix it with aspects of another religion to gain an heightened consciousness.

I went to mass today to speak with the priest about this theory, and he refused to speak with me and told me to go back to my house and write him an email, which I thought was rather audacious of him to turn away someone asking to speak with him. Thus I left the church I grew up in feeling ostracized and doubt that I will be returning again to the church.

During today’s run, I had several thoughts. The first one being that I’m not worth anything, and because of that I am worth everything. Thus, we should rearrange our priorities so that the align with a new value system. The second thought is that I am more like a bear than what one would normally think a human and a bear can be. I talk of seasonal habit patterns. This would make it seem like I hibernate during the winter season, but it does occur to me that I do have a slow season during the winter months. Then in the spring I start running again, and then I am active during the summer, and in the fall, I tend to over-eat and then in the winter I go into sleep mode and just do only the necessary actions to get by.

So this morning, I went for a run at 7:00 am, and with all the rains and flooding that has taken place, I had to run through a foot in certain spots. While I was doing this, I happen to see some people walking, and then a rather staggering thought came to me in the form of a question. That was: Why is it that animals, with the exception of domesticated animals: Cattle, Pets, Sheep, Poultry, and others of the sort, are never over-weight or obese? Why is that humans and their domesticated animals are the only beings on the earth that are over-weight.  Is it because of our ‘civilized’ way of living, and their structural society? Is it that idea that they are only a part of nature, and thus only take what they need, and we, as a generalized paradigm think that we are above nature and thus feel that we can take not only what we need to get by, but we can take as much as we would like, and are also socialized into thinking that ‘more is better.’ Thus we always take more than what we need, if only to prove our status as being more of a person, or of more worth just because we have more.

So, it has occurred to me that I haven’t changed out of my clothes for three strait days, and there is a reason for this other than my dirty hippie status, or lack of clothes. The reason is that I am depressed, and don’t feel like doing much of anything. Other than that, I don’t have much to say, because nothing has changed, I still run, and workout, but I don’t look forward to it. Outside of that, I just sit around all day and read books.

Today is the first day of my fast and of my two-a-day running workouts. I have ran the first run of 5 miles, and felt tired/wore and filled with lactic acid. It was insanely hot out when I ran, so I quickly became dehydrated. I am looking forward to running this evening in a much cooler environment. It should be a fun one. I haven’t really felt any changes in my mental aptitude, but I am guessing that that is because it is only the first day of my fast. I think  that I will also go to the playground and swing for a short while, because I find it fun. I often find myself pondering philosophical conjectures there. For example, yesterday I found myself wondering why humans think life is so important. I have yet to come up with an answer, but I also think there is a strong correlation between people who take life too serious, and those who exhibit stress.

Today, I have decided to do a few things differently with my life. First I have decided to get back into racing shape, which means doing two-a-day running. Secondly, I have planned to do a five day fast, where I will only drink tea and water everyday for five days. Finally, I have also decided to write more things down, meaning this blog, more poetry/music, philosophic thoughts, and in truth be more open about everything.

I have also just had a revelation of some sort, I was talking to a friend of mine about a sketch I drew/colored, and he was asking what it was thinking when I drew it, and so I told him what it represents to me. As I was doing this, I came to the basic concept of physics: Energy cannot be created or destroyed. As such, energy created the matter, the world, man, and everything else. Thus energy created life, and it takes the living to create the idea of no life, and an abyss.  Ergo, it takes the living to create the non-living. The magnaminous impact these words have had on me is startling, and unique in a way that many people won’t accept. This is the world as it is.